Just a ranting about life, minimalism, gardening, kitchen, food, deco

Do you leave a place where you are not comfortable with? I am ... I am good with running from people and places that I feel that I am not comfortable with. I know, at times, my attitude is wrong, but I find that I should feel good instead of stress out being with people that I think may not like me or usually because I have bitter experience with them ... That is why my friend always told me not to think about it, ignore it and do something else, as I am a person who like to over thinking and end up with nothing ... so, I found out that is useless ... so, it is better for me to think positively and do something that is good for me ... The thing is, I am the one who lost, because of this .. I do not know whether it is call anxiety or what, but my calmness and happiness is much more important than struggling to be with people who hurt me. I know with the term, people change, and I should too, and now, I am building myself so I can be more confident and happy.

Because it come effortless, naturally, without need to work hard for it, and only once it gone, then we feel lost … I forgot about feeling grateful, feeling blessing because all I can remember is the heartache, the pain that cause by people, no matter who that people is. A single eye gazing could lead to years of friendship, broken into pieces, because of over thinking, because of intonation, things could go very wrong ....Things have become so complicated and messy, with so many things to do, arrange, plan and look forward to.  Challenges keep coming, but it not always, as at times, there will be rainbows too, bad things will pass, so do good things too ... Be in the present, cause the past has past, and the future is yet to come .. enjoy the moment, believe in good things, be positive, be hopeful and persevere. Always try to do your best in your work, in your life, plan for your future, read a lot, and keep good relationship with people no matter what the reason is....

You have to bite your tongue, and keep on walking ... because the reality is hurt, you will meet people who hurt you, used you but still you are going to meet people who lift you up ... But usually, the one that hurt you, you will be affected he most. But the one who makes you smile and your life easy, you forget about them .. that's why people said, no matter how much goodness you do in your life, because of one mistake you do, that is what people will remember the most. As an introvert who thinks too much, who keep everything in herself, I found it hard to deal with negative people, it really hard. I envy those who able to keep on going, happily without a trace of low self esteem despite the things that they do. I envy those people, because I am not like that. Well, each people has their own attitude, but certain attitude will eat them alive if they do not learn to fight it, to face it. It is inside that matters, because what you feel inside will materialize in the outside.

Since last week, I watched this Korean drama .. Go Back Couple, watch teaser here , and there was this sentence or act that makes me thinking hard, what do I do when I was 20 years ago? This story is about a couple who submitted their divorce application because they both cannot stand each other anymore, and as luck struck in, they went back to their youth, at the age of 20 ... and how everything started, the flirting, the friends, the family, the love, and this got me thinking ... what do I do when i was 20 years old, then, compare to my current life, where, nearly 15 years has passed, do I feel proud of my life, or should I do better? When I was 20 I was struggling with my studies, and I do not have male friends, or boyfriend when I was in university. But I do have friends. Thinking back, it is my nature to do things alone, and it never m forte to talk to people about my difficulties and turn out, until now, I still have the same kind of traits, but now as trust people more, and ...

Things that we want, we need to work hard for it, wait for it, keep the faith and believe that whatever we want, we can achieve it, we can get it. Positive attitude that must come with it. Sometimes, it takes a lot of challenges for it to actually happen, but because of the believe and faith, it can happen, some will take days, years, month, and that's why patient and perseverance are very very important. Life is full of surprises with ups and downs, but it cannot stop me from keep on walking and chasing what I want in life. Even though most of the times, I have to walk alone. But, however alone I may feel, god, Allah, is always there. Then, there is the power of prayer, as whatever we want in life, we need to pray for it. People, like me, usually only pray for money and wealth, forgot little things that are important like health, happiness, good friends, good family, calmness in the heart, a good spouse, and pray that I will be hinder from bad people who only come for a purpose,...

Nope, it is not ok at all, because there are so many things in the world that is beyond of our control. Why thinking of something that is unnecessary? The thing is, overthinking will eat you from deep inside without you realize it, as it happen to me. You might think, it just in the head, well, it is, luckily it just in your own head, and what if you voice out everything without care of the situation? Well one thing for sure, it is not good. If something is bothering you deeply and you cannot stop thinking about it, you stress about it, please do something else that could keep away that negative thought from haunting you, please you must do it. Even though it will unable to keep that thought away, but at least you give your mind and heart a break, a break from the unneccesaary stress and pressure. Stress and pressure could cause a lot of diseases and unpleasant situations, like you cannot enjoy your life and your heart and mind are being distaracted the things that is not good for ...

I was surprised to see some people manage to save more than 20% of his salary ... even a single person like me find it hard, but to see and know some people able to do it, it amazes me. Maybe because of my greed and spending habits cause me this problems ... Some people will say it is not about how much money you make, but how much money you can save. The things are, the life seems to demand so many things from me, a good cloth, a comfortable house,  a nice car, and the list could go on and on and in the process I spend all the money I earn, I furthering the time I should work, because I need to earn money to pay the expenses, especially the loan and the interest. There is two parts of me, one says, spend, one say, save, and usually the spend will win and I abide the command to spend. The thing is, when I look back how bad I am at managing money, I kind lost a lot of things, like time to retire early and need to work until I reach my retirement age. I kind see what ...

Nothing in life comes easy and of course free. Nothing can come coincidentally without someone need to work hard for it ... There is a price you have to pay for anything in life ... Sometimes, yes luck do happen, but it hardly happens ... if you want something, you need to work hard for it, learn, walk, do, proceed, and no matter how small the steps that you take, keep on moving and don't lost that will. Currently, I am pursuing my PhD and there are so many times, I felt that I need to give up on this path, as it too hard and why should I do it? I know, I have to do it, because if not, I will be slacking off in my life and this is my opportunity to grow myself... but I find no passion and enthusiasm to continue the journey. If I want to get my PhD, I have to work hard, focus and disregard anything that disturb my journey to get the degree even though I am not sure what benefits do I get from obtaining that degree as my current job does not take account my advance degree. But...

This , I got from facebook, it is not mine, and I do not know to give credit to whom ... but whoever wrote this, this is beautiful and resonate well in me ... It helps me a lot .. REACTING TO EVERYTHING I’m 'Slowly' Learning That I Don’t Have To React To 'Everything' That Bothers Me. I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to hurt those who hurt me. I’m slowly learning that maybe the 'ultimate' sign of maturity is walking away instead of getting even. I’m slowly learning that the energy it takes to react to every bad thing that happens to you drains you and stops you from seeing the other good things in life. *I’m slowly learning that I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and I won’t be able to get everyone to treat me the way I want to be treated 'and that’s okay.'* *I’m slowly learning that trying so hard to ‘win’ anyone is just a 'waste' of time and energy and it fills you with 'nothing' but emptiness.* *I’m s...

Money isn't everything, I know that, but it can get what you want and it necessity and in future, if you do not plan well, when you have emergency and future endeavors that you need to do, but lack of fund, you will resort to loan ... like what I did now ... When I look back at my previous expenditure, I found out that there are many things I shouldn't bought in the first place and 'if only' I save that money, today, I will have a lot more saving in my account, but who am I to lie to myself? When the truth hit you, you spent recklessly, intentionally and now, when you look at your saving at this age, you cry alone at the corner of the room ... if only I take saving seriously since I was young ... When I was young, catch up is something I think I can do ... past is past, but there are ways to mend it, but the truth is, the later you start, the harder it will become ... but it doesn't matter now, as I should start somewhere .. and not be occupied with previous mis...

I think my biggest priorities in 2018 is managing my finances.... As I discovered, I have been blessed with good and stable job, but lack of consideration to save money and be serious about my finances... It is not I am in big debts, but, if I am serious about managing my finances,  will feel a lot better and be a lot happier and able to do things I want, without keep checking on my bank account on whether I able to pay off my credit card bill in full this month. I read a lot about finances, only until recently I found out how important it is to be ready for the rainy days. As usually for my rainy days, I always have back up, but now, in 2018, I have to get serious. So my plan in 2018 are to use what I have now without the need to add more items because currently in my mind, there are like million of things I want to buy and have. Second, budetting and stick to it, three, list out my debts and how I can pay off that, fourth, to have more saving and diversify my investments. W...