Wednesday, February 14, 2018

What did I do when I was 20 years old?

Since last week, I watched this Korean drama .. Go Back Couple, watch teaser here, and there was this sentence or act that makes me thinking hard, what do I do when I was 20 years ago?

This story is about a couple who submitted their divorce application because they both cannot stand each other anymore, and as luck struck in, they went back to their youth, at the age of 20 ... and how everything started, the flirting, the friends, the family, the love, and this got me thinking ... what do I do when i was 20 years old, then, compare to my current life, where, nearly 15 years has passed, do I feel proud of my life, or should I do better?

When I was 20 I was struggling with my studies, and I do not have male friends, or boyfriend when I was in university. But I do have friends. Thinking back, it is my nature to do things alone, and it never m forte to talk to people about my difficulties and turn out, until now, I still have the same kind of traits, but now as trust people more, and I have great friends that I can rely, I able to seek solutions and help whenever I am needed.

There are friends that I still keep in touch and there are friends who I just see thier posts in the facebook. Thanks God for the FB, as I still able to keep in touch with my friends.

I am still single and had a few heartache and broken, and regardless of many things that I wish I  had but unable to, I am still able and proud to be standing with the accomplishments that I have until today. I am proud of myself, but after looking back, I want to improve myself, be healthier and more confident as now I am more stable and have a good career.

Whatever it is, I am thankful for the nearly 35 years I am living and I wish to do more, to travel more, to earn more, to be financial freedom and to be happy always, regardless of whoever I met along the way or whatever problem that come that distract my happiness.

Things don't magically happen overnight

Things that we want, we need to work hard for it, wait for it, keep the faith and believe that whatever we want, we can achieve it, we can get it. Positive attitude that must come with it. Sometimes, it takes a lot of challenges for it to actually happen, but because of the believe and faith, it can happen, some will take days, years, month, and that's why patient and perseverance are very very important. Life is full of surprises with ups and downs, but it cannot stop me from keep on walking and chasing what I want in life. Even though most of the times, I have to walk alone. But, however alone I may feel, god, Allah, is always there.

Then, there is the power of prayer, as whatever we want in life, we need to pray for it. People, like me, usually only pray for money and wealth, forgot little things that are important like health, happiness, good friends, good family, calmness in the heart, a good spouse, and pray that I will be hinder from bad people who only come for a purpose, and once their purpose is materialized, they will walk away, and once this happen, you will feel a sense of betrayal and it could linger in your heart for a long time, so, you must find a way to  erase this sick feeling in the heart because a painful heart could cause a lot of other bad things, not only in the body but can destroyed your inner peace and your self confidence.

Things I want in life, success, money, richness, happinesss, cannot happen overnight, but it will takes a long time, as we have our own time zone, but we cannot give up, but must keep on walking, believe and keep on going. Avoid unnecessary drama and things that make i uncomfortable or things that could create problems.

But in life, you need to have faith, a strong conviction and perseverance in facing a lot of things in life and believe that whatever that happen is for your own good. But, do not stop to chase good things in life... and to trust your instinct. 

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Overthinking, is it ok?

Nope, it is not ok at all, because there are so many things in the world that is beyond of our control. Why thinking of something that is unnecessary? The thing is, overthinking will eat you from deep inside without you realize it, as it happen to me.

You might think, it just in the head, well, it is, luckily it just in your own head, and what if you voice out everything without care of the situation? Well one thing for sure, it is not good.

If something is bothering you deeply and you cannot stop thinking about it, you stress about it, please do something else that could keep away that negative thought from haunting you, please you must do it. Even though it will unable to keep that thought away, but at least you give your mind and heart a break, a break from the unneccesaary stress and pressure. Stress and pressure could cause a lot of diseases and unpleasant situations, like you cannot enjoy your life and your heart and mind are being distaracted the things that is not good for your body.

I've been through it, and I always always try to do something else so it can distract my mind and I do not stop doing what is I need to do, not I want to do, but the things I need to do for my future. Why forsake your happiness by thinking or doing not so good things? Your life is much precious than what the other matters that hinder you from happiness that you deserve.

Why bringing up the past because the truth is, nothing can change the past, but you can look forward for your beautiful and great future, by focusing on your well being and growth. Life doens't stop when you get rejcted by people you thought should be in your life or thinking they should reciprocate your kindness, well, dearest, things will not happen that way.

Every people has their own gain that they want to achieve. Some able to do it openly, and confidently, and if you like me, a low self confidence person, who has trouble to mix or come forward, so dear, this one for you. You have a future to look forward to, places to travel to, new people who are kinder, challenging and better to meet with, properties and asset that you look forward to have, financial freedom that yo desperately needed so you able to be rich and the list could go on and on... so, don't bother about people, stop thinking of things that has happen, and please look forward to the future ... the bright and great future... lets focus and work hard for it. Be confident that you will have it brightly and be happy no matter what circumstances you are in. Be thankful for every situation that you ahve been through because all the things that happened are shaping you to be a person with wisdom and successful.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

It's not easy to earn money

I was surprised to see some people manage to save more than 20% of his salary ... even a single person like me find it hard, but to see and know some people able to do it, it amazes me. Maybe because of my greed and spending habits cause me this problems ...

Some people will say it is not about how much money you make, but how much money you can save. The things are, the life seems to demand so many things from me, a good cloth, a comfortable house,  a nice car, and the list could go on and on and in the process I spend all the money I earn, I furthering the time I should work, because I need to earn money to pay the expenses, especially the loan and the interest. There is two parts of me, one says, spend, one say, save, and usually the spend will win and I abide the command to spend. The thing is, when I look back how bad I am at managing money, I kind lost a lot of things, like time to retire early and need to work until I reach my retirement age. I kind see what will happen when people do not have a good money management skill, and the consequences are bad, and yet, i still do the same mistake. 

... and as I grow older, I find it become harder to save because it seems like there are so many things I want to have that I should get. Well, I know that is not a good habit, but, it really hard to save. I also grow an interest in traveling and go places , see new people and gain new experiences. I need to look back of my life and my finances so I won't regret when I am old, and said ... if only I do this ...

I need to work harder on my job and at same time work hard in achieving my ambition, to retire comfortable with a healthy body and mind.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

It takes hard work to achieve anything .....

Nothing in life comes easy and of course free. Nothing can come coincidentally without someone need to work hard for it ...
There is a price you have to pay for anything in life ...

Sometimes, yes luck do happen, but it hardly happens ... if you want something, you need to work hard for it, learn, walk, do, proceed, and no matter how small the steps that you take, keep on moving and don't lost that will.

Currently, I am pursuing my PhD and there are so many times, I felt that I need to give up on this path, as it too hard and why should I do it? I know, I have to do it, because if not, I will be slacking off in my life and this is my opportunity to grow myself... but I find no passion and enthusiasm to continue the journey. If I want to get my PhD, I have to work hard, focus and disregard anything that disturb my journey to get the degree even though I am not sure what benefits do I get from obtaining that degree as my current job does not take account my advance degree.

But there is something that I want in life, a sense of accomplishment, a sense of feeling that I have done something great in m life as currently I am in a very stable condition, with no needs to get more, to be more. Bu a good friend of mine said that challenges and stress in life are good, and are needed in life to make life more fulfilling as hardship teach us to be strong, to seek solution in the problems that we face and to work hard. Life isn't meant to be in one place only.

To achieve something great in life, I need to focus, work hard and defeat the strongest enemy of all, my own self ... Only then, I can keep on walking and hopefully after this, I will jog and sprint to get the satisfaction that I dream to get. 

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Reacting to everything

This , I got from facebook, it is not mine, and I do not know to give credit to whom ... but whoever wrote this, this is beautiful and resonate well in me ... It helps me a lot ..

I’m 'Slowly' Learning That I Don’t Have To React To 'Everything' That Bothers Me.
I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to hurt those who hurt me.
I’m slowly learning that maybe the 'ultimate' sign of maturity is walking away instead of getting even.
I’m slowly learning that the energy it takes to react to every bad thing that happens to you drains you and stops you from seeing the other good things in life.
*I’m slowly learning that I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and I won’t be able to get everyone to treat me the way I want to be treated 'and that’s okay.'*
*I’m slowly learning that trying so hard to ‘win’ anyone is just a 'waste' of time and energy and it fills you with 'nothing' but emptiness.*
*I’m slowly learning that not reacting doesn’t mean I’m okay with things, it just means I’m choosing to 'rise' above it.
I’m choosing to take the 'lesson' it has served and learn from it I’m choosing to be 'the bigger' person.
I’m choosing my 'peace of mind' because that’s what I 'truly' need. I don’t need more drama. I don’t need people making me feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t need fights and arguments and 'fake' connections. I’m slowly learning that sometimes 'not' saying anything at all says everything.'
*I’m slowly learning that reacting to things that upset you gives someone else power over 'your' emotions.
You can’t control what others do but you can control how you respond, how you handle it, how you perceive it and 'how much of it' you want to take personally. I’m slowly learning that most of the time, these situations say nothing about you and a lot about the other person.
I’m slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything, it won’t make people suddenly love and respect me, it won’t magically change their minds.
Sometimes it’s better to just let things be, let people go, 'don’t' fight for closure, 'don’t' ask for explanations, 'don’t' chase answers and 'don’t' expect people to understand where you’re coming from.
I’m slowly learning that life is 'better lived' when you 'don’t' center it on what’s happening around you and 'center it on' what’s happening 'inside you' instead.
'Work' on yourself and your inner peace and you’ll come to 'realize' that 'not' reacting to every little thing that bothers you is the 'first ingredient' to living a happy and healthy life.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Why managing money, matters

Money isn't everything, I know that, but it can get what you want and it necessity and in future, if you do not plan well, when you have emergency and future endeavors that you need to do, but lack of fund, you will resort to loan ... like what I did now ...

When I look back at my previous expenditure, I found out that there are many things I shouldn't bought in the first place and 'if only' I save that money, today, I will have a lot more saving in my account, but who am I to lie to myself? When the truth hit you, you spent recklessly, intentionally and now, when you look at your saving at this age, you cry alone at the corner of the room ... if only I take saving seriously since I was young ...

When I was young, catch up is something I think I can do ... past is past, but there are ways to mend it, but the truth is, the later you start, the harder it will become ... but it doesn't matter now, as I should start somewhere .. and not be occupied with previous mistake .. I learn from the lesson.

I learn from surround, see from my own eyes, how people struggling with no money, and how money is needed in may occasion, like buying that pills, that cost a lot of money, food that you want to eat,  and the people you must spend with them ... family, friends, relatives, and the list will going on and on ...

Money isn't everything, but I found out, money what make people look up to you, respect you and pay you attention.... if you have no money, you need to get people attention through other means... but, don't bother what people think, because it your own situation, mend it, because in the end, you need to face all the problems, by your own ...