Saturday, November 7, 2015

to start over

As I have graduated from my MA ... yes, this blogger has an MA in education ... kind weird, isn't? Even I do not believe it. It has been a rough journey and got ups and downs too. There were times that I do not think that i can finish my MA, but I did it. Syukur Alhamdulillah, for Allah has ease my journey and I got my success.

After I graduated, I thought I would be happy, but actually, I felt sad. It seems like part of me, is missing. At first I do not what was it, but now, I know. I miss being busy with books, the adrenaline rush or being freak out to meet the supervisor and of course, I am missing my friends. It's been two weeks since I graduated, and now, I have to look for what I want to focus on for my life.

I have my mission, but for my mission, I have to do something. Something that is beneficial, and I know, I have to start over. What I know after I finished my MA is that I need to be more confident with myself, and be proud of my achievements. Despite so many things have happen, the past is past. Now, I should look forward for the future and do something beneficial. I havent found out yet.

I do thinking to continue to PhD, but it is too hard, expensive and time consuming. I want to do something else.

That's why, I'm thinking to start over, to start new. There are many things to look forward to in this life.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Always Always be thankful

There will always be things that I can be thankful of, my life, my food, my health, may laptop, my parents, my house, the achievements that I got. There are so many, so for me to complain of anything in life, for me, it is not fair. I also am very thankful for my religion, for I'm a Muslim and I want to be a good Muslim.

I cannot always get what I want, but I can work for it. The road to achieve for what I want will be different from other , but I do not know what the others have to go through to get where they are now. I don't and I cannot judge.

The past is the past. I cannot undo it now. There is no way I can, but I can take one step at a time to fill my life to the fullest that I want. There will always be obstacles but, I found out that the most hardest obstacles that I have to go through is from inside of me. I am my own worst enemy.

Friday, October 16, 2015

Bought a new expensive mouse

Considering that I haven't been updated my blog regularly that I used to do, even though I know that I like writing and composing and I always have trouble to think on what I should write about, so, I decided to write things that matter to me. And today, that matter is buying a new expensive mouse.

Previously, I bought a cheap mouse that cost RM12, around USD 3,  and it do not working wonderfully. It hurting my hand as I have to use a lot of strenght whenever I want to click on something and as time passes by, it getting on my nerve.

So, today, I decided to buy a new mouse, that cost RM79.90  and with 20% discount, the price has become RM59.90 ( around USD 13.60). Lucky for me. But as I used it for like five minutes, I love it.

I guess, this is  what people are  saying, if you want a quality product, you have to pay extra.

But, I do not mind to neglect on the quality as long as it bearable and more important thing it is chaep, but if it getting on my nerve, I have to do something. Money is precious. There are many more things that I can do with money, as things getting more expensive these days, so I have to be frugal, but I guess, quality and good things do matter, but at the expense of price.

That's all for today. By the way, I'm using LOgitech mouse, red in colour, and at the shop, there is only this mouse available. It was a book shop and lucky for me to be able bought it there as if not, I have to go to a computer shop which is like 40 km away.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

the tempation between need, wants and future

The tempatation between the needs, the future and the wants.... which one you want to priotrize? is it even possible to have it in balance?

Let say, you have financial obligation to pay, loans that you are so wanted to get rid of because it getting to your nerve, and the wants that you want to that you or people around you to be comfortable, so which one that you will choose?

The easiest way is just to close one eye, and choose the one that pleases the heart, no matter which one but in my case usually it will be to have my wants to be fulfilled, no matter what the circumtances that will occur after that.

But, one thing that I must fully understand is that every choices has their own consequences and set back. I need to take full responsibility on every choices that I make because it is me who make that call. Peer pressure, family pressure are all excuses or just reasons. That's why there is this popular saying you cannot get everything, but if you must, you can get but by planning and changing what need to be change.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

It is fasting month

Turn out, I haven't post anything in this blog for four months... wow ...., seem like I neglected it. Yes, I am.

It is because I focused on finishing my master thesis. Now, I finished my final exam, and waiting to finalize my thesis and if Allah's  allow, I will be graduated by the end of this year... phewww..... it is a big relief. Too many sacrifices have been made, compromised and difficulties need to be faced. Truth to be told, I even do not know how I do it. But the journey has been really really really great.

Now, for Muslim around the world, it is a fasting month. It is a month of Ramadhan and it is a blessing month. Well, for some, it looks difficult because we have to fast, not eating and drinking anything, but, there are so many great reasons behind it. It actually test the Muslim's patience and perseverance, and in return, we will be rewarded. I have done it for many many years and I do not have problems and I love this month.

Well, after months of not updating anything, I think for now, it is enough. Will continue later on. :)

Friday, February 27, 2015

So, i like to work alone... problem?

A few weeks back, a situation happen ....As at my workplace we have to do some kind innovations, and we have do it. It should be fall on everybody, but I do not why ... I got this conversation from my supervisor.

He said, something about me liking to work alone and it not good, and I should with others and if come in the future and the tasks that befall on all are not done, he will blame it on me? Seriously? Is he should say something like that?

What he said bothers me a lot. So, I decided to do what other people should do and it gives pressure to me. I suspect something must off for him to say those things to me because there are other people too.

Yes, I like to work alone, but I do not have problem to work with others. I will share the things that I should share and being me, most of the times, I over share. For two weeks, I feel pain in my chest and hating my leader for not stand up for me... why am I be obligated with that responsibilities when he knows many actually do not do anything? First day at work, I finish doing what other people should do and then, I finish mine. There are things that still not settle, but that too, cannot fall on my shoulder. I've done what I could do and a few thanks me. I want to put these behind me because truthfully, it was a bitter experience for me.

Because of this, I want to find extra money through other works.... part time... one day, when I felt really bored with this profession and I'm stable enough, I want to walk away.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The things about be quiet

It actually keep you out of the trouble, but not exactly solving the problem. Mouth can create so many good and bad things but even good things can be interpreted differently. So, be quiet. Thus it leave the imagination of those who actually paying attention to me, to think as they might want to, but as long as I'm not involve mouth fighting that could turn into something ugly and bad.

But, it not nice actually to keep everything inside. it not good to bottle up everything because once it get out, it might turn not pretty. I guess this is also where the stress is coming from.

But I belive in saying that quite is intelligent. Stay out of trouble and focus on other things.