Just a ranting about life, minimalism, gardening, kitchen, food, deco

Is it possible? Well, it is, through loan, and with the magic of credit card, the loan are easily accessible. It is a wonderful thing. To easily get the things that I want with this plastic card. The joy is even though momentarily only, but because of the temptation, just use the card will bring happiness. Why do I talk about this.... because I'm in the middle of the process of doing it, wanted to spend the money that I do not have... But, the truth is, I've used it many times. Like, my study for degree that I got help from education loan that I still paying until now, my car, my house, and some other things. So, it is not weird. But, there is a danger behind it, especially when the person who doing the loan unable to pay for it. Then, there will be a problem. I know about prudent spending, and how the situations are currently and the need to think about the future. I know all that, but, why the heart still do not want to listen? Now, in times like this, I feel jealous ...

Whatever happens, just keep your head high, smile and walk on. If you want to talk about it, talk, and if you want to cry, cry. But, do not give up. Actually, it so easy to say than to do it, to face it, because it so hurting inside. The heart keep asking, why, why, and why. What do I do wrong that I got this? I know, there are reasons for everything that happen, thus, I just need to accept it with open heart. If you a kind a person who will fight for your right, by all means, do it, but I don't. I am not good with confrontation and I learnt that smile is the best answer for everything. I wish things were different and I wish to find out where my mistakes are, but I do not have the energy and will to do so. Or maybe, I need some attitude change. Maybe. For now, I cannot do much. I can't. I do not have the capacity to even think about it.

It can never work , isn't? Because things can never enough, there will be more and more things that I will want. Especially when you are down, and you wnat to do things or buy things with the hope that it will make you satisfy or relief from whatever grief that you have, but, sadly, it will not work. It will work for a while, because I know. I did it a few times. I do not feel relief. But, I do not feel guilty about spending money that I should use to pay loan. I'm not yet in a bad situation, but I know, I going to need the money in the future, but I chose temporary relief. How to be satisfied or te be relief from the heart pain? Travel is one of the way, but time os not on my side. It even hard for me to focus on my study now. But I love writing, I guess, I will feel better after this. Hopefully. I just bought this. Lenovo Ideapad Yoga 11'

Used to be, I hate traveling. The idea of packing up, and thinking of what to bring, what will happen during the journey, what if I left something important, what if something happen at home while I was traveling, makes me hate travelling, until, last year, I travel to Beijing and it so much fun. It is really really fun. I never thought that I will go outside of my country home. I wish to, but I never think that it will come true. Last year, was the turning point in my life. Turn out, the journey was really fun. So eye opening and it felt really great. I want to do it again. Now, when I travel, there is no more if. I just walk on and bring what I think I might need and try to live in the moment. Appreciated the moment at that time, at different place, and a different wind, sky, air. It so refreshing and eye opening. It so fun to meet new people, talk and share differences experiences that they have. It makes me see a wider perspective of life and life is actually really fun. I got ...

What should I do when I know someone hated me? Ignore it or face it? It much easier to ignore than to face it. But, it isn't good in the long run... isn't? Because it will keep repeating it. What if I do not have the courage to face it? The thing is, why hate in the first place? Hate can come because of so many reasons, and sometimes unthinkable reasons too. Because the flesh call herat, is so hard to predict and tame. It requires a lot of work, and time and patience. Thus, what should I do? Train the heart to be patience about it and just walk on. Even in the course of being patience, I will feel frustrated, hurt and can easily cry, but that's ok, because that is the process of becoming strong, isn't? Whatever it is, just keep on walking, do the right and good things, and be patience, and as Muslim, keep on zikr, it helps the heart to be calm. I got this from the ideal dreamers page, just sharing it here, just because I think it is related to the things I a...

Have you ever thought of that? Whether the decision that you take is it the best decision you should do? What if in the process, something happen, and turn out what you decide is a bad decision. What if, actually there are better options, you should just be a little patient, and more good things, will come. What if, that good things never come? Then, you compare your situation with other people, and turn out, you do make terrible decision. If only you know earlier, and follow the footsteps of those people, you will be much happier now. Don't you think so? Then all kind of regrets come at you in full force. You regret the decision that you make. If only, I delay my gratification, save, and maybe, I have finish paying my loan now. If only, and if and a lot more if. But, what if you stop thinking the if? you realized your mistake, so, repair it, not regretting the past things that happened. I am responsible in the situation that I am. there will be people who are ...

Have you ever in a situation, you keep on thinking and thinking and thinking and end up of not doing it? I do and it is not good. Because in the end, you could miss it an opportunity. So, before this I wrote whether or not to continue my master degree. So, I end up of doing it and I am loving it, even though so many obstacles and my mind keep thinking whether I can finish it. See, just beginning and hesistation has coming back at full force. Not a good thing. Studying is a good thing, and I am capable of doing it, even though, truthfully I will face many obstacles along the way. But it is expected, so, what I ahve to do just keep on moving and focus on the proses and enjoy it. Wish me luck everyone. By the way, I want to make extra money, so, I make a facebook page, please support me, the page is about heart .. https://www.facebook.com/CalmHeartStrongHeart