Just a ranting about life, minimalism, gardening, kitchen, food, deco

I remember while I was working and studying at the same time,as I was juggling between both, I worked hard and managed it, even though not very proficient, but I managed. The pressure to do both quiet tough, but because of the desperation, I managed. But now, after I completing my study, I found out that I am slacking off. It takes me a while to complete or do simple task. I prefer to do it all in one basket and thus I take longer time and procrastinate a lot. I do not like it. Sometimes, my mind wonder here and there, and while searching, I found something interesting and I ended not doing my work even thogh previously the same workload only take me a while to complete it. Maybe because I am too free, I become like this.

At the age of 30 ++, it seems to me that I lost my focus now ... maybe because I keep repeating doing the same thing again and again ... there's no thrill anymore. After finishing my master degree, I found life has become a little bit empty with a lot of spare time. Kind weird too that I do not like to watch drama or movie as much I like to do previously and do other hobbies, like cooking or sewing, not really interest me.... maybe because I'm not a very particular person and just like to do how I want to do. Maybe I should start something new or maybe restart back ... just maybe... like people said, there are so many things to look forward and as I am not very sociable person, I think, maybe I should start writing, reading and relearning but doing Phd is totally out of questions for now.

2015 has been very nice to me, very very nice. I earn my master degree, got awards too... wow, I never had an award as best student before. Then, my works run smoothly and there are a few setbacks here and there, but I managed to pass... I learn that it best not too attach with something and accept what it is and move on. No big expectation and people can dream and dream on. Dreaming is free. As for two years, I was busy studying and working, and now, after that ended, I feel kind lonely. It seems that I lost my focus and I do not know what to do. What is my next project and what should I do next. Turn out, I'm so used being busy, that I feel lost when I have not much to focus on. Maybe I should try something new, and do something new.... it just I do not know what that is yet. Hopefully 2016 will be a better year for me.

As I have graduated from my MA ... yes, this blogger has an MA in education ... kind weird, isn't? Even I do not believe it. It has been a rough journey and got ups and downs too. There were times that I do not think that i can finish my MA, but I did it. Syukur Alhamdulillah , for Allah has ease my journey and I got my success. After I graduated, I thought I would be happy, but actually, I felt sad. It seems like part of me, is missing. At first I do not what was it, but now, I know. I miss being busy with books, the adrenaline rush or being freak out to meet the supervisor and of course, I am missing my friends. It's been two weeks since I graduated, and now, I have to look for what I want to focus on for my life. I have my mission, but for my mission, I have to do something. Something that is beneficial, and I know, I have to start over. What I know after I finished my MA is that I need to be more confident with myself, and be proud of my achievements. Despite so many ...

There will always be things that I can be thankful of, my life, my food, my health, may laptop, my parents, my house, the achievements that I got. There are so many, so for me to complain of anything in life, for me, it is not fair. I also am very thankful for my religion, for I'm a Muslim and I want to be a good Muslim. I cannot always get what I want, but I can work for it. The road to achieve for what I want will be different from other , but I do not know what the others have to go through to get where they are now. I don't and I cannot judge. The past is the past. I cannot undo it now. There is no way I can, but I can take one step at a time to fill my life to the fullest that I want. There will always be obstacles but, I found out that the most hardest obstacles that I have to go through is from inside of me. I am my own worst enemy.

Considering that I haven't been updated my blog regularly that I used to do, even though I know that I like writing and composing and I always have trouble to think on what I should write about, so, I decided to write things that matter to me. And today, that matter is buying a new expensive mouse. Previously, I bought a cheap mouse that cost RM12, around USD 3,  and it do not working wonderfully. It hurting my hand as I have to use a lot of strenght whenever I want to click on something and as time passes by, it getting on my nerve. So, today, I decided to buy a new mouse, that cost RM79.90  and with 20% discount, the price has become RM59.90 ( around USD 13.60). Lucky for me. But as I used it for like five minutes, I love it. I guess, this is  what people are  saying, if you want a quality product, you have to pay extra. But, I do not mind to neglect on the quality as long as it bearable and more important thing it is chaep, but if it getting on my nerve, I...

The tempatation between the needs, the future and the wants.... which one you want to priotrize? is it even possible to have it in balance? Let say, you have financial obligation to pay, loans that you are so wanted to get rid of because it getting to your nerve, and the wants that you want to that you or people around you to be comfortable, so which one that you will choose? The easiest way is just to close one eye, and choose the one that pleases the heart, no matter which one but in my case usually it will be to have my wants to be fulfilled, no matter what the circumtances that will occur after that. But, one thing that I must fully understand is that every choices has their own consequences and set back. I need to take full responsibility on every choices that I make because it is me who make that call. Peer pressure, family pressure are all excuses or just reasons. That's why there is this popular saying you cannot get everything, but if you must, you can get but by pla...