Just a ranting about life, minimalism, gardening, kitchen, food, deco

My 2012 has been a great year to me, and for that I am really thankful to Allah. There has been ups and downs and each one of it has been very meaningful to me. I started 2012 with a new place of work. The task become easier compare to the last my place of work. Less demanding and less pressure. But well, each place has it own problems. I encounter mine. But I take it lightly because it is not the problem that can caused me to feel angry. Instead the problem has shown me that I actually have issue with people. Then,turn out what I have to do is to just smile, ignore and do what I think is right. Do not bother what people think, as long as I do my work passionly and I try to be friend with them. Then, I discovered things about me. Like actually, I am not that very patient person. I will get what I want. It just, do not test my patience. It could be that I answer you back, or I will ignore that person totally. Actually, I hate the rush of impatience when it comes. It not good. And I ...

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are not my control, so ignore it. Why bother about it or even thinking about it? It just a waste of time and energy. And even though this energy do not burn our fat, instead it increasing it, but it drain the things inside us, like the ability to think wisely and we succumb to the things that we should not... Hahaha, what am I talking about? ok, the important thing is that do not think too much. Do whatever you think is right but, remember, your definition is right should inline with the right, not your only definition is right. Follow the al-din, the religion because there is where answer and solution you need. I always think, this should not happen, why they behave like that? Hei, I am the one who did that, they should thank me, but all these thoughts make me tired and it drain to exhaustion. So, now I say, ignore, why bother and move on. There are so many things in life.

Used to be, I like to keep things on my own. I do not like to talk because I think no one cares. Or they only listen just to get back to you. But lucky for me, I have great friends who do listen to me and help me to get through the tough times that I faced. They have been very kind and supporting and help me to see the things that I cannot see.  Well, even though sometimes I am having difficulties to accept  what they said were true, but they were there and every time I need them. For them I am grateful.Moreover their words and descriptions are very enlightening and powerful. I do not need many friends. What I need is friend who is going to listen to me and accepting me who I am and in the same time helping me to improve in so many things and discover so many great things in life, that there are so much in life that I am not aware. (Usually in the last part, they didn't aware that they did that and for that I am lucky, I have  them. I am so grateful...

This post is related to my frustration to me.. Once upon a time, I was this person who so energetic about life and want to face every challenges possible, but now, I hate it. I prefer to stay at home, and do nothing. Then, I was this person who is ambitious, but now... after I found out that life is actually really challenging and those lucky enough will get it. Then she prefer to settle for less. I do not know what went wrong, but I cannot writing freely like I used to and I become the person that I myself feel weird. Sarcasm and hypocrisy is ok to me... oh oh... In a way, I also found good thing about the changing, but I felt weird and my brain just freezing from thinking about it... What happen to me? Maybe middle age crisis. :(

Money is needed every time... do u keep track where your money goes? I thought that will be a piece of cake, but turn out, it so hard to keep track of the money that I used until i left with nothing... and I started to wonder, where has my money gone? huhuhuhu... Between earn more money and be frugal, I think being frugal is easier, because as a working person, my salary is fix and sometimes I have to take out my own money for my work, but nope. Being frugal is not easy also... There are too many temptations in life and things that I have to buy because I have to. Like example, a good and nice cloth. Well, I am so not into fashion and many times, I do not care what I wear, as long as comfortable there, but then when I went to a meeting, I found out that I was lacking and my appearance is so... oh oh... then, I know I have to invest in this area. I am a woman, and make up should be my friend, and dear, before putting make up, you should have a nice skin. Luckily my friend is so nice...

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: 'This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package.' He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. 'She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said: 'Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion'. I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the settee without worrying about anything and just relax. I spend more time with my family & friends and less at work. Money is to be spent not saved. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no long...