Just a ranting about life, minimalism, gardening, kitchen, food, deco

Used to be, I like to keep things on my own. I do not like to talk because I think no one cares. Or they only listen just to get back to you. But lucky for me, I have great friends who do listen to me and help me to get through the tough times that I faced. They have been very kind and supporting and help me to see the things that I cannot see.  Well, even though sometimes I am having difficulties to accept  what they said were true, but they were there and every time I need them. For them I am grateful.Moreover their words and descriptions are very enlightening and powerful. I do not need many friends. What I need is friend who is going to listen to me and accepting me who I am and in the same time helping me to improve in so many things and discover so many great things in life, that there are so much in life that I am not aware. (Usually in the last part, they didn't aware that they did that and for that I am lucky, I have  them. I am so grateful...

This post is related to my frustration to me.. Once upon a time, I was this person who so energetic about life and want to face every challenges possible, but now, I hate it. I prefer to stay at home, and do nothing. Then, I was this person who is ambitious, but now... after I found out that life is actually really challenging and those lucky enough will get it. Then she prefer to settle for less. I do not know what went wrong, but I cannot writing freely like I used to and I become the person that I myself feel weird. Sarcasm and hypocrisy is ok to me... oh oh... In a way, I also found good thing about the changing, but I felt weird and my brain just freezing from thinking about it... What happen to me? Maybe middle age crisis. :(

Money is needed every time... do u keep track where your money goes? I thought that will be a piece of cake, but turn out, it so hard to keep track of the money that I used until i left with nothing... and I started to wonder, where has my money gone? huhuhuhu... Between earn more money and be frugal, I think being frugal is easier, because as a working person, my salary is fix and sometimes I have to take out my own money for my work, but nope. Being frugal is not easy also... There are too many temptations in life and things that I have to buy because I have to. Like example, a good and nice cloth. Well, I am so not into fashion and many times, I do not care what I wear, as long as comfortable there, but then when I went to a meeting, I found out that I was lacking and my appearance is so... oh oh... then, I know I have to invest in this area. I am a woman, and make up should be my friend, and dear, before putting make up, you should have a nice skin. Luckily my friend is so nice...