The fear of rejection

 It has been so long since I last posted in this blog. 

Maybe I should rewrite back in here considering one of the therapeutic a person can do to deal with daily life challenges is through writing ... 

Actually, I have a lot of things in my mind. but I always wait for the right moment, when the truth is, there is no right moment, but just do. 

Recently, I always thinking of retire early because I feel that I do not have the energy to run away from things anymore, as that's what I always do, running away from things that I do not feel comfortable of doing.  And it has worked wonder for me, as I avoid drama, walk alone, and do a lot of things without I seek the approval from others. 

Things are difficult for me because I am people pleaser, and it is not easy for me to say no  or reject something without I feel guilty about it, even though, it is not a big matter at all. 

Life is hard when you have to walk alone and it harder when you have to be uncomfortable all the time ...

I've read somewhere about be comfortable with your own skin, and I guess, it wasn't that easy for me ...

Because of the fear of rejection and the hesitation of what could be, I always think a lot, become an over thinker, and this cause a battle within my own self, when actually, I could just stop thinking of what others might think, when the truth is, what others think isn't matter, it is what we think of ourselves are matters the most. 

 Maybe because I am too simple kind a person, and there are so many maybe ... or maybe this is just a ranting that i felt ...

I guess, just keep on walking and be patient...