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It so hard to be kind

I want to be kind and nice to people, but it wasn't easy at all. It requires a lot of patience and perseverance. you need to have strong heart and faith in what you believe what is right and wrong. Sometimes, when you in terrible mood, still you need to force yourself to smile and making eye contact even though that were the last things that you can do during that time.

Its all begin with a piece of meat call heart. when your heart feeling good, nice, your body will feel good, but if it vice versa, well, dear, you are going to go through a painful days. I read its all about what you set your mind to, if you take it positively, then your heart will persevere, but if your mind take it hard, well, then it will become a stress, a problem to you and me later on.

And this is the tricky part, how to make our heart take it positively? How?

It requires a hard work if you just start, like me, but if you have trained to do so since you was a child, then it an easy job for you. Used to be, if I was faced with ahrdship, I will cried myself out, sleep for hours and find a new things to see, talk or read, so that my mind will stray away from my troubles and it work for some time, but in my current situation, I don't have time to used that old tricks. Well, that kind of ways more like to run away from the problem, and it worked if you have a lot of time and not much responsibilities, but its different now.

I ahve to learn to face all the problems and people that I dread to meet with. Used I will try my hard to avoid, but now, that is no more an option.

But I hate myself in this situation. i become more fierce and stubborn and less happy and more tense. I wonder if there is a way that I can resolve things that I don't like without me creating a hatred, but I guess not, because i cannot pretend to be Who I am not.
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