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Is it necessary to win each time you talk?

I quote this from Dale Carnegie book, which I recommend it to all to read.

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

But, I really like no 1 to 4, because it always happen to me that I always meet people who always want to win in whatever they say. So, number 1 to no 4 is what I always try to practice.

Once I was a person who always want to win in argument, but now I know, it will not bring me anywhere, instead it will bring more hatred and enemies closer to me. I begin to realize that every words matters, because not all can accept what you think and say. I become very careful with my actions and words. Somehow, I don’t like it very much because I seem to lose my self confidence, but I had to do it in order I will not create more enemy.

Sometimes, it make me think that I become a coward because I do not want to tell what I think because I do not want to hurt other people feelings and in return my heart hurt, but that’s ok, I can always find ways to cure my heart. (well, that’s way of me saying to make my heart comfortable, but the matter of fact, it takes time for me to recover from any blow)

But life is not about me alone, it about other people as well. Adaptable and adapting is something that I cannot avoid to do. So does you, right?

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